Dear Eddie | Two Months

Eddie, two months.

To My Sweet Boy -
Technically, you are two and a half months now. (I blame the craziness of our first Thanksgiving and Christmas together for the delay in your monthly letter!) You are snoring away next to me (really sawing wood!) in your bouncy seat - it slays me when you snore - it's so loud and adorable!

It's been a whirlwind of a month. We had Thanksgiving, my 30th birthday, Christmas – and New Year's is coming up. You had your first sleepover (at my mom and dad's in Illinois), your first couple of road-trips (also Illinois, and Door County!), your first trip up to Washington Island, and your first set of holidays! You took your first bottle, upgraded from your bassinet to the bigger part of your pack'n play, and had your first sickness (a really fun stomach bug that we're still trying to kick). I can hardly believe how you've grown in these last weeks. At your two month checkup you were 90th percentile for height, and 50th for weight, so you are long and lean, just like your dad. You have the sweetest disposition - I don't know how we got so lucky! You are one laid back little fella, and everybody adores you, most of all your papa and I.

Picking out your first Christmas tree!

Your papa giving you your first bottle.

(Note: Had to set this down and come back to it.) Now it's NY Eve, and your papa and I are snuggling you on the sofa. It's 9:12 - you are still up, you party animal, but you are just about to fall asleep. We have a little "bedtime routine" we've been trying to make a habit the last few weeks. If it's a day for you to need a bath, your dad takes you in the shower with him - which you seem to really enjoy. It makes you very calm and sleepy. I heat up the corn sack and place it on your changing table, over the towel and also your pjs. When he's all finished with you, I bring the warm towel in the bathroom and bundle you up. I stay in there where it's steamy and put lotion on your silky skin. It's more for the smell than the moisturizer, at this point in your life! It's scented to be calming and help you sleep. Then we go put on your warm jammies, and you dad meets me in your room, where we read you a story or two, sing you a couple songs, and say our prayers with you. Usually by then you are pretty much out, and into bed you go! Your sleep has improved in the last month, although it's not consistent yet. Around 7 weeks, you started increasing into 4 and 5 hour stints in the night, which felt like a million bucks to me! I remember the first night you slept four hours straight - I felt like a new woman when you woke up at around midnight to eat. Ha! Now I'm greedy and expect more from you :) The night before your two-month checkup, you slept for SEVEN hours straight - from 8 til 3am! Holy smokes - I woke your dad up at point just to tell him that you were still sleeping. I couldn't go back to sleep because I kept waiting to see how much longer you'd go - a little counter-intuitive, I know. You've done a few other nights similar to that, but we've been traveling a lot this month and very busy, so it seems like it's been a little difficult to keep you in any type of pattern. Usually you go down around 8ish, sleep til anywhere from 12:30-2:30, then wake up again around 5, and then I pull you in the bed and we all go back to sleep, snuggling until your dad gets up to leave, and then whenever you wake up (usually anywhere from 6:30-9:30, depending on the night). I know this is a lot of boring detail for you - I'm mostly recording it for my own memory! I think whenever you have a little baby brother or sister, I will enjoy referencing your sleep patterns to remind me how things change and develop.

You and Milo, sporking like champs.

Speaking of sleeping, your first road trip down to your grandma and grandpa's in Illinois, you slept the whole way (thanks!) You were loved up while we were there - your Uncle Timmy and Uncle Jeff are so sweet to you, and my mom and dad love you to pieces. They are natural grandparents! It was Thanksgiving weekend. We spent the actual day of with your Nana GiGi and Dwayne, then headed out of town. A whole bunch of Illinois family and friends stopped by throughout the weekend to meet you. My Aunt Shari gave us a scare - she called a few days later to say she was afraid she might have whooping cough, and could've exposed you. Since you weren't vaccinated yet, your dad and I were so scared. I took your temperature 3 times a day for 10 days just to be sure you were okay. Everything obviously turned out fine, but it made us realize how we had already started to take your good health for granted.

We also took a long road trip up to Washington Island to celebrate my 30th birthday - it was so special. All of your uncles and your auntie were there, and your Grandma Kathy and Grandpa John. We loaded the three of us, Ralph, Milo, Mikey and Lauren into our little x3 - and spent two nights at the cabin. It's for sale now which makes us very sad, but it was neat to be there all together, celebrating with you. It brought back lots of memories for your dad and I about the October we spent a week there, and decided we were ready to start trying for a baby. We had fun with everybody this time as well, eating and laughing and playing cards, shooting clay pigeons and drinking lots of coffee. You pooped ALL over your grandpa - your first explosive poop! He went straight into the shower. Ha!

Celebrating with a birthday coffee and the family at the Red Cup on Washington Island.

Christmas with you was wonderful as well - we spent more time in Illinois, as well as here in town with your Nana GiGi and Dwayne. You were spoiled with lots of holding, snuggles, kisses, toys, and a giant stuffed giraffe from your dad's Aunt Debbie and Uncle Todd, who are enamored with you. I will never forget waking up at my mom and dad's for your middle of the night feeding, and bringing you downstairs to nurse you by the Christmas tree. I still just love to gaze at you while you are eating, touch your face and neck and hands, and listen to your sweet sounds. I told you all about what Christmas means, how we celebrate Jesus' birth, and just tried to memorize the moment.

Merry Christmas, sweet boy!

And now, we are about to ring in the new year - 2012. Your dad and I are so grateful for all of the amazing blessings the past year has brought - one filled with such joy and happiness, some trials and lots of laughter. You are the best possible gift to us, sweet Eddie. We love you more than words could ever say - as your papa put it tonight, you make our home come alive. You are turning more and more into a little person - your expressions, your "talking" and sounds, your gestures. We love watching you grow and develop. I am looking forward to all of the new adventures we have in front of us as a new little family this next year!

Love,
Mama

The Little Things...

I've been working in little spurts to prepare our home for the holidays - something about having a child this year has sparked a feverish excitement for all things Christmas. Of course, being on maternity leave leaves me with just a little extra time on my hands to step things up a notch. I'm not a big seasonal decorator, but this year it was fun. I've got the tree done, pine cones hanging from the windows, sheepskins thrown about, stockings hung by the (balcony) with care, you get the point. I know Eddie isn't going to remember any of this, but it is still important to me. My parent's house is always decorated to the nines for Christmas, and it adds a whole extra element of joy and warmth to the season. My mom really goes all out, and her joy is infectious - I hope to pass that on to my children.

Another thing I've been thinking a lot about is that Jesus came to Earth as a baby. I mean, of course I've always known that but spending all this time with a little one really drives home the meaning of that. GOD became one of the most vulnerable of creatures, to demonstrate for us how to live, from the very start. I look at my tiny little son, and can't imagine a baby being born, to die. And also, the humility of coming down as creator of the world, to become a human baby. A burping, gassy, needy (snuggly, sweet, cooing) little baby. That blows my mind in a whole new way now.


Speaking of burpy, gassy, needy little baby boys, I wanted to take a minute and just record, if for no other reason than for myself, some of the little things I most love about my sweet Eddie at this age. First thing's first - he's started smiling! It happens usually in a window of time after he's eaten - when he's most content and happy, but if you work you can earn one at other times. But it's the sweetest little gummy grin - it lights up his whole face, and he sticks his little tongue out while he's smiling and makes these gurgling, hiccupy noises. My heart melts a little every time. During our days together, I truly live from smile to smile. Also, the noises he makes in general. When he's peacefully sleeping, every exhale carries a little sound out with it. When he's deeply sleeping, he often snores - quite loudly. Right as he's falling asleep, usually when in my arms, he does a little smile and giggle, which then changes to a little frown and half cry. I can't help but wonder what's in his mind right then? I always know after that he's going to probably stay asleep.


I've also been really trying to soak up all of the middle of the night moments we share. I know, despite how tired I am and how I'm constantly adding up the minutes to see how much longer he sleeps from day to day, that I'm going to miss these times. It's precious and it's ours. I know of course he can take a bottle if necessary, but it makes me feel that he just truly needs me, and I'm the only one who can really take care of him, know what he wants, know his signals, and give him what he most requires. (Not to take any credit away from Chris, who of course could do any of these things magnificently) - it's just that I am the one who does it, and it feels good to take care of my sweet boy in this way. Of course, when it exceeds an hour or so of awake time at 3am, I'm more than happy to wake up his papa for a little help. But I love how warm and soft he is in the night, how he's quicker to fold up into that newborn-like cuddle, to bury his head into my neck or chest. How his little hands move when he's eating - they sort of stroke my chest or neck, or grab onto the edge of my shirt, or slip under the strap of my tank top. I just hold his head in my hand, stroke his hair, kiss his neck and face. I love him so much more even, every day. Even as I read these words back to myself, I realize they don't capture it - they lack the warmth, the emotion, the deep, heartbreaking love that accompanies holding, feeding, rocking, my child.

And one other thing - I love seeing Chris with Eddie. How he is so calming to him - how he just wants to hold and snuggle him, and talk to him and teach and show him things. What more could I possibly want as a wife and mother? To see how he loves our son makes me love him even more, which is the best of feelings. It feels so complete to be together, the three of us, and all day I feel like a part of me is gone when Chris is at work, like we are just waiting for him to come back home and put the last piece back in the puzzle.


So, these are observations - snippets of the little things. I know many of them are going to fade but I so wish I could memorize it all. I think that's part of the reason people have more babies! There is really nothing else like it, nothing else.